Dear My Closest Friend
by joyfulfangirl
Summary: It's been a year since Elliot left SVU. Olivia has given up trying to contact him. Then one day she decides to write him a letter. Will he reply, or will it be like all her other ignored messages? Title and plot inspired by the Flyleaf song.


Dear My Closest Friend.

She sat alone in her apartment. It had been a year since Elliot had left SVU, and a year since they had last spoke. He never returned her hundreds of voice messages, and never texted her back. After a while she had given up, but something had told her today to try again. Not a phone call, not a text, no emails, but a letter. Hand written, signed, stamped and sent.

After an hour she was still sitting there twirling the pen in her hand staring at the blank piece of paper. _What do you even say in a letter?_ She thought to her self. Closing her eyes she put the pen tip to the paper and started writing.

One week later:

He was sitting in the car after dropping little Eli off at preschool. Before leaving for the day he had picked up the mail and tossed it in the passengers seat.

He hadn't spoken to her in a year. He had thought about her everyday, and wondered about her. Had she moved on? Had she forgotten him? Did she still love him, and care about him? If he called her today asking for a kidney would she give it to him?

All those missed calls, the voice mails that followed, text messages asking to call her back, the emails saying she was sorry for whatever she had done if she had. She hadn't done anything to ever push him away. It's not that he didn't still care about her, but more that he couldn't handle the thought of her being in SVU risking her life without him there by her side, protecting her. If anything happened to her he would be devastated, the thought of anything bad happening to Olivia Benson terrified him. He'd feel guilty for not being there, so he pushed himself away to keep from being sad. Truth was he felt more guilty having ignored her this past year.

Picking up the stack of mail he flipped through the bills and junk before finding a letter. _Who even sends letters unless it's Christmas? _The name at the top corner filled his heart with joy and sorrow all at the same time.

_Dear Elliot,_

_This last year hasn't been easy without you. SVU isn't the same anymore. I know why you left, but I don't know why you never said goodbye. 12 years came and went. You were more than my partner. You were my best friend. I thought it was always going to be that way. I don't know what happened between us, but I miss us. I miss talking to you. I miss everything. _

_With love _

_Olivia._

He read it once, twice, three times. He couldn't ignore the words of his friend. He agreed he had hoped their friendship would always stay the same.

When he got home that afternoon he pulled out a piece of paper and sat down alone in his house and started writing back to her everything he wished he could've said over the phone or in an email.

One week later:

It had been a week since she'd sent the letter. Every day she looked in her mail box, and checked her messages only to be left disappointed. Maybe he really didn't want their friendship to continue, but at least a text saying so would be nice.

She thought regardless of all her failed relationships with men that even him just being her best friend he'd be there forever. 12 years seemed to mean nothing anymore. She started to say to herself _It didn't matter how long you knew the person they were bound to leave me eventually._

Getting home late she went to the mail room like she had the past week. This time though she wasn't eager, instead she was reminding herself not to be too disappointed when she'd seen nothing had come. Twisting the key in the metal mail box she sighed and shut her eyes that small glimmer of hope was still there, and she wanted to believe for a second more that that letter had come. Holding the envelopes she imagined for a second that she was holding the letter. Slowly opening her eyes the first thing she saw was a credit car bill.

Once in her apartment she set the mail down on her counter. One of them dropping. It was face down so she couldn't see what it was. She picked it up and flipped it over.

Immediately she recognized the writing she had seen so many times on case reports. It was his writing. She looked at the corner of the envelope just to make sure.

Was she dreaming? Tears welled in her eyes and she tore the envelope open

hoping it was a good letter and not a bad one telling her he never wanted to see her again.

_Dear Olivia,_

_I know this last year hasn't been easy for you. Let me say first I'm sorry. Although I don't expect you to forgive me I really truly am. I still think about my last day with SVU every night before I go to sleep. I apologize for having not said goodbye to you. Truth be told I never wanted to say goodbye. I hate goodbyes. It's not that I never wanted to see you again, but I didn't want to hurt you by leaving you behind at SVU. I didn't want to stay up at night wondering if you were safe out there without me. I thought it'd be easier to sleep if I pushed away. It's not. _

_You're my best friend too, and I want it to be the way it had been for 12 years. You were always my best friend from the day we met. Not a day goes by that I don't miss you too. Please call me when you get this._

_With love._

_Elliot_

Tears in her eyes and hands shaking she picked up her phone and scrolled down the contacts hoping she hadn't deleted the number out of anger or something. It was still there. She touched the screen and the timer started for the call along with a picture of Elliot she had on the caller ID.

It rang twice, and she got anxious. Should she hang up? Maybe he was busy. She should call back later. Just as her hand moved to phone from her ear there was a pause in the ringing.

"hello." the voice said.

"Elliot." she said with a smile in her voice.

"hey Liv I missed you."

"I missed you too." she replied to her best friend of now 13 years.


End file.
